we were pretty classy up until the second keg
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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