Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
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We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
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Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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