I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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