please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
