I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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