Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
