So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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