You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
