id be glad to
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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