Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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