How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
