next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
you made out with another girl for some wings
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
