Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
