Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
