based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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