So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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