I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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