About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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