He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
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