just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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