I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
