Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
