I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
