Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
