You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch