Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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