There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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