they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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