who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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