dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
