Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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