morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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