When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
