the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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