i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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