Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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