I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
