i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
