um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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