I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize