well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
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