Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
