yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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