i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
