I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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