i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
