Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize
