Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Pappa wants mamma naked
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
