phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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