Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
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I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
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Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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