it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
