I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
