You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
