If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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