And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Randomize
